Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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