Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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