ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize