My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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