I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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