Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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