Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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