u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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