My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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