GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize