omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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