oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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