when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
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