It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
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My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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