I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
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I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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