I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
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I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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