You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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