not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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