I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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