Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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