you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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