My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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