Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
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why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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