it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
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Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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Someone came in the potted fern
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we're so committed to being not committed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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