Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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