You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so let's talk penis.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize