i think i have two assholes
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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