You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
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I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think people are normalizing furries
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize