Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize