I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
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so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
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Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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