I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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