so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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