i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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