So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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