Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize