you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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