there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize