There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize