She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize