I want to have your abortion
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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