i think i have herpe
just one?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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