My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Two words: nipple clamps
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