I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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