dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize