so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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