covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
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She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
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I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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