I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
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I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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