These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize