What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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