So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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